when you didn't know you noticed

This afternoon I was driving up Willamette, which I've driven up a million times I'm sure (ok, maybe not, but definitely over 1000). I wasn't particularly paying attention to what was around me, I'm often not. At least I thought I wasn't. But I drove past this parking lot that has a sign out that says $40/month parking. And I noticed it because it was different. The number was higher and the size of the letters were bigger on the price. The funny thing is I've never paid any attention to this consciously. I never thought about the parking lot. If you had asked me before today, I couldn't have told you where it was, or if there even was one on Willamette. And I certainly couldn't have told you what it cost per month. I didn't even know that I noticed this. But today I noticed it because it was different, which somehow make it stick out and catch my attention. It set off this thing in my head that said, "that doesn't match". It didn't match what was in my memory I guess, even though I didn't know it was even in my memory.

It makes me think of how I took pictures without paying attention and then realized years later that I liked them. Some part of me was paying attention even though I wasn't conscious of it.

It also makes me think of this article on blindsight, because you can apparently perceive without "seeing" the way we normally think of it. I guess I was "seeing" this sign (and who knows what else), without even noticing that I was seeing it and remembering it.

I also noticed when I got back my car that there was this small circle of upholstery covering up this hole in the door panel. While something like that does go there, but this just looked wrong. It was the same as when I saw the sign. I just looked at it and knew that's not what went there. I don't remember what the one that goes there does look like but I knew that this wasn't it. So I looked at the rest of the door panel and it didn't match any of the other leather on the car so that made me think I was right that it wasn't the right piece. Then I looked over to the passenger side door and there was just a hole with the cover missing on that side. After that I was convinced. This thing was definitely not what went there. (New plugs are being ordered).

It's interesting how bad (really bad) I am at remembering peoples faces. I watched a movie this week and there were two with actresses with blond hair. They were in two different locations throughout the whole movie, until the end where they end up in the same room together... and I get them confused.  At the end of a scene I realize that the it wasn't the one I thought it was. Same thing happened last week and plenty of other times. If they've got two people that have the same hair, and they're not actors that I know, I get them confused. Maybe everybody does, but I kinda don't think so. Other people can picture what people look like in their head. I can't. When I try it's like trying to see without your glasses on - and you really need them. It's really really blurry.

On the other had I think I'm pretty good at seeing details. I've noticed it from learning/teaching martial arts. A lot of other people don't seem to see the same things I see. A few years back I learned this kata from a certain instructor. Another student learned it from the same instructor. We'd both know the kata for a while and he sees me practicing it and he asks where I learned to do this one fancy looking thing with my hands. I thought it was odd because I learned it by watching the instructor. He did it every time. Yet this other guy hadn't "seen" it.

I wonder if I'm good at seeing details just because I am, or if it's because I'm bad at remembering the whole picture, so I pick out details that I can use as recognition points. It can't be the other way around because I can know someone for my entire life and still not be able to picture their face. It doesn't mean I don't recognize them, it just means that I can't "see" a picture of them in my mind.

It feels like my brain remembers a lot of details but then doesn't know how to fit the pieces together. That's why I get lost when I'm driving. I remember things in pieces, but don't know what piece connects to what other piece. And when I'm learning a new move in bjj, the instructor will go over it several times and when he says to start drilling I can remember very well the last thing he said but I can't for the life of me remember what position we're supposed to start in. If someone tells me, then I remember and I can remember plenty of details about what he said he was doing. But the move as a whole is fragmented. I can remember details about certain parts but not always how to get from one part to another.