stats on the homework

30% of the phone calls I've made or received this month have been in the last week.

Which means 30% of the calls were made in 20% of the time.  So there's a definite increase in volume. Especially from the prior week when I'd only talked on the phone twice (non-business calls). 29 minutes that week and 229 this week, so that a significant increase.

I've definitely had some interesting conversations that I wouldn't have if I hadn't done this assignment. 

Considering my personality, I'm not going to try to keep making a call every day.  I really only planned to do it for this week, just for the experience. And to break my habbit of not making calls. Sometimes it's good to do things just to get out of your comfort zone.  That was the idea for me here. Things always seem more scary when you've never done them before, or don't do them often.

Yesterday I called Leah and told her I was calling her because it was my assignment, not cause I wanted to.  She thought it was pretty funny. I was all stressed out from work so I didn't want to call anyone I just wanted to regroup (by myself). But I also wanted to just have the experience of calling like that so I did it anyway. I knew she would not take it wrong so it made her the right person to call.

I like to do things just to see how I'll react to the circumstances. It's like an adventure in self. That's what I like about tournaments. I don't really care about wining & losing so much as I just like to see how I'll react when I get out there on the mat with someone I don't know. You don't know what they're going to do and you don't know exactly what you're going to do either. So it's an experience.

I will try to still make some outgoing calls of course. I think it's probably "good" for me, whatever that means. I'm just going to do it when I feel like it not cause it's an assignment. But at the same time I'll continue to stretch myself cause I like doing that too.

breathe

I'm so glad it's the weekend. This week has been nuts!

You know your busy when...

Stuff you did earlier today seem like it was done yesterday.

Even if technically it was yesterday in my case, but still within my "day".

iPhone Contacts

for some reason I didn't realize that you could assign a photo to all the contacts in your phone. not till someone took a picture of me yesterday after adding me to their phone.  so now i've assigned pictures to 9 people in my phone, just for fun. now I want someone to call me... except it's 1 am so that probably won't happen for a while. 

anybody awake out there?

ok, I'll wait.

homework - day 3

since you asked for an update... I didn't call anyone yesterday. we'll come to think of it I think I attempted one call but it wasn't picked up (you know who you are ;-|   lol). but I was quite social in person that day. while at bjj I gave someone my contact info and apparently looked friendly enough that someone else came up and started talking to me. Which maybe doesn't sound like much but I often avoid eye contact with people which gives the impression that you want to be left alone. I'm very good at being ignored. At this point it's more of a habit than a conscious decision. Probably just thinking about my homework made me conscious enough that I looked more open. 

thinking about things too much and forcing yourself just makes them hard. and can make you self-conscious and weird feeling.  so that's why i didn't force it yesterday, but it doesn't mean I gave up either. I think I had a lot of good social interaction yesterday. and today I called two people!! actually, I called 4 people and left messages with two and talked to two. Both of the calls where I talked to people are instances where I definitely wouldn't have before. But since it was "homework" it seemed like a good time to practice. And it wasn't that hard, or awkward or anything like that. 

Oh and called I talked to one other person too. But that call had a purpose so it doesn't count as much. But it still does count cause I often hate calling people even when I have a purpose. Mostly when I don't know them that well - which is usually.

get off your couch people...

"Studies of humans have revealed that exercise can improve the brain’s executive functions (planning, organizing, multitasking, and more). Exercise is also well known for its mood-boosting effects, and people who exercise are less likely to get dementia as they age. Among those who are already aged, athletic senior citizens have better executive function than do those who are sedentary; even seniors who have spent their entire lives on the couch can improve these abilities just by starting to move more in their golden years."

"...Exercise also improves sleep quality, a pile of studies suggests. And immune function. Is there anything it can’t do?"

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=six-ways-to-boost-brainpower

finally a break

This week has been non stop!
didn't even get to drive the last two days ;-(
thought I might explode if I didn't
do something today.

feel much better now ;-)

busy, busy, busy week

not even a chance to drive the last two days (sad). i have had interesting conversations though. and I'm getting a lot of stuff done. speaking of... i better get back to work.

SciAm: A Pictorial Evolution of the White House Web Site

This is actually funny:

http://www.sciam.com/slideshow.cfm?id=white-house-web

They start out with bland and then get worse and worse for several years. As ben said, it looks like something you would have found on geocities.

melissa's homework

Melissa gave me a homework assignment yesterday. She said I had to call someone every day. 

Yikes

Every day? Like every, every day?  But I don't call people. (That's the point.)

It was already 8pm and I'd been running around all day from the time I woke up to when I just got home from asl class. I was driving back thinking it was getting late and I was going to totally mess up and not call anyone. 

I didn't want to. The thought of calling someone everyday is actually rather terrifying. I'm not even going to get into that. What I am going to say is that I got home and was walking down the hallway and I got the spark, the thought that I should just scroll down and dial someone (iPhone) so I did.  

That's really the best time for these things, right when it hits you. If you wait then you think to much and nothing happens.

So, Yeah for me ;-)   i probably seem pretty silly here, i don't care.

Every day seems pretty often to me. But I'm gonna do it for the practice. She I have to call people even if I have nothing to say, which seems really confusing to me. But like I said, I'm gonna do it. To put it in perspective, the last time I called someone for no reason was Mel and it was a week and a half ago. And the time before that was probably, um, like last year, maybe december, maybe not. I'm pretty sure it was less than 6 times last year. So that sould make last year's record really easy to break. (ha ha?)

Anyway, this should be interesting.

i love asl class

I like the teacher. She's friendly and funny. We have to play goofy games but it's fun to learn.

We were going over a list of words and she told us she has lots of "oops" stories. Where people sign the wrong thing, thinking it's something else.  She told us another one at the end of class. 

Her ex-husband wanted to ask her mom (who's deaf) if she wanted some pizza. He tried to sign "want pizza", except he didn't know how to sign pizza, so he made up a sign. Unfortunatly for him it was the sign for vagina. Not the right thing to sign to your mother in law.  Her mom gave him a funny look and told her to have a talk with him.

orange notebook

I ready through my orange jiu-jitsu notebook several times this weekend. It has all my notes from several seminars and a couple classes I took where I actually took the time to write down what we did. 

I should take notes more often. I kept reading over the stuff and going, "oh, yeah".  I think reading over it will help and maybe I'll be able to remember it while rolling next time. I actually have a lot of good info in there.

sunny with a chance of semi's

To my cousin...

Last night I dreamed we were somewhere, maybe a family gathering and we got in the car to get something to eat.  You were telling me where to drive and you had me stop somewhere and then take another couple turns.  We rounded this bend, which was like a 180.  There were a lot of hills and valleys, we were in a valley with dessert hills, very high, around us and there was also a ledge off to the side.  We didn't drive that far and then suddenly all the cars around were stopping because there was a huge semi halfway in the ditch with half of it sticking up above the road. 

It was bigger than a normal semi would be, so the end of it was sticking up really high into the air. We weren't sure what it was at first but then I realized. You were not very interested with it because you were thinking about the food ;-)  

The end of the it was kind of swinging around and I had to do a few evasive maneuvers so the end of it didn't break off and fall on us. 

The funny thing was it didn't seem at all scary.  It was just like if you're walking through a living room and there's a table in the middle so you walk around it. Even though eventually I had to crawl out of the window of the car which was hanging over a ledge and walk around the edge of the car - with my hands - to get back to land.  And yet, like I said, totally not scary, and zero effort.

The day was really bright and sunny and seemed like it would have been warm if I actually felt weather in my dreams. 

I'm remembering a lot more of my dreams since I moved my bed the last time.

get lost easy?

Did a little more research and found this...

If you know you have prosopagnosia (face blindness), you may be surprised to discover that you may also have some of these commonly related conditions as well.

• autism/Asperger's Syndrome
• topographic agnosia (place blind) Do you get lost. A lot? Even in your home town? Even though you've lived there your entire life? Get a sinking feeling when people tell you "you can't miss it" because you know you will?
• central auditory processing disorder (yeah, it's not bad enough to have problems recognizing people, but there are a host of auditory disorders that you might have, too)
• Executive Function aka Executive Dysfunction. If you're chronically late, disorganized, bouncing checks, paying late fees, messy, or people are telling you that you're "not living up to your potential", you may have Executive Function problems.

Nice package... get lost easy, can't tell faces apart well, and get confused listening and reading.  

I don't have Executive Function problems. I make a lot of lists. I would so fall apart if I couldn't make lists.  Well, I wouldn't fall apart but I would never know what I needed to do next so nothing would get done. Lists are good ;-)

And I don't have autism or Asperger's.  I'm not bad at empathetic thinking. I think I'm pretty coordinated.  They say lots of "nerd" types share similarities with Asperger's.  I wonder if there are neurological similarities between the two. 

I do feel like I need to "learn" certain types of social etiquette but that may just be because I haven't been in situations where I learned it already.  Some people think it's supposed to come naturally but I think they're mistaken and you get it from your experience and if you don't have that experience then it's confusing.

I don't think I have a problem I just like understanding things and I do that best by researching, analyzing and writing.

Brain fog

Leah sent me this link: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

3 of us took the test... I got 31, she got 16 and the other person got 15.

From the website...

Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.

This made me think of Daniel Tammet (see saturday's post), so I started reading about Asperger's which had a link to Auditory Processing Disorder: 

APD is recognized as a major cause of dyslexia[5]. As APD is one of the more difficult information processing disorders to detect and diagnose, it may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD, Asperger and other forms of autism, but it may also be a comorbid aspect of those conditions if it is considered a significant part of the overall diagnostic picture. APD shares common symptoms in areas of overlap such that professionals who were not aware of APD would diagnose the disabilities as those which they were aware of. APD can also be confused with Language Processing Disorder. Unlike APD, LPD is more specifically a problem associated with the linking of words, both written and spoken, to semantics (meaning) and someone can have both APD and LPD. Unlike those with LPD, those with APD can usually get the meaning of language from written words where those with LPD show problems with both heard and read words, demonstrating that the basic issue is not an auditory one.

People with APD intermittently experience an inability to process verbal information. When people with APD have a processing failure, they do not process what is being said to them. They may be able to repeat the words back word for word, but the meaning of the message is lost. Simply repeating the instruction is of no use if a person with APD is not processing. Neither will increasing the volume help.

People with APD have a disorder processing auditory information within the brain. The written word is a visual notation of verbal language, thus Auditory Processing Disorder can extend into reading and writing. As a consequence, APD has been recognised as one of the major causes of dyslexia.

There are also many other hidden implications, which are not always apparent even to the person with the disability. For example, because people with APD are used to guessing to fill in the processing gaps, they may not even be aware that they have misunderstood something.

Persons with APD often:

• have trouble paying attention to and remembering information presented orally; cope better with visually acquired information
• may have trouble paying attention and remembering information when information is simultaneously presented in multiple modalities
• have problems carrying out multi-step directions given orally; need to hear only one direction at a time
• appear to have poor listening skills, and need people to speak slowly
• need more time to process information.
• develop a dislike for locations with background noise such as bar, clubs or other social locations
• prefer written communication (e.g. text chat)

This I totally relate to.  It's weird, but it's like you hear it but don't understand. You know the words but they don't turn into meaning, it's like they're floating in a fog in your head.  If it's something I know about this usually doesn't happen or maybe I just don't notice because I guess the correct meaning.  Hearing or reading about something I already know about is easier. But reading about something I don't know about is way different. Even if I know what all the words mean. 

For instance I read this sentence like 10 times before I could figure out what it meant: "APD shares common symptoms in areas of overlap such that professionals who were not aware of APD would diagnose the disabilities as those which they were aware of." Actually I tried reading it several times, couldn't figure it out, then came back and tried again later after my brain calmed down and finally got it. But I had to look at one word at a time with a couple seconds inbetween each in order to try and get the sense of what it meant. 

I think this is a really badly worded sentence but I think more sentences seem like that to me than they do to other people. At least this how it seems to me.

APD indicates "auditory" but I looked at a bunch of websites and APD and the reading problem thing often go together. It's more of a language processing disorder.

Maybe this is why there are no words in my dreams? 

It explains this post I wrote a couple weeks ago about not understanding when they explain things in jiu-jitsu and sucking at geometry because I can't remember strings of words.  And the fact that I get confused by the questions Paul asks me. 

And why I use sound effects while I'm talking cause I can't remember the right word. Or I'll use the wrong word sometimes because I know there is a right word I just can't get it to come to my mind so I'll pick the closest one, even if it's a little off, just so I can get the thought out. It's not like I don't know it's not the right word. But trying to come up with the right one can be exhausting and it's not cause I have a bad vocabulary.

And the fact that I often hear lyrics in songs the same way you would another instrument. Not at words but as a voice, with a voice being just another instrument. I can hear the words if I think about it but I often don't because it takes more concentration and effort.  I could hear a song 50 times and not know any of the words or what it was about.  If I think about it I will "hear" the words. If you wanted me to remember the words in a single verse then I would need to listen to it probably 100 times (or more) and also say the words right after they did, out loud in order to help me remember.  

So I can't sing along to any songs because I can't remember the words to anything except for two or three words in any given song. But that works out just fine since I can't sing anyway ;-)

rain, rain, lots of rain

It sounds nice outside

patterns, language and numbers

Daniel Tammet Interview

This guy is really interesting.  Not only does he see and feel numbers, but he's really good at languages. He learned Icelandic in a week! He says languages are easier for him to learn, in part because he sees patters in things. I can definitely relate to learning things by seeing the patterns in them, but cleary not the way he does. Patterns are cool! I'm going to read his books.

Nice Rig

Only in Oregon. Or maybe just not in California.

Really? Nice Rig. By what standards does a Lotus qualify as a rig?

Actually, I think it's fun to hear the different things people say about my car.  This guy knew how much it cost and that carpet was optional. 

But seriously, if you said, "Nice Rig" in california I don't think they would know what you're talking about. Not that this was the only guy I've ever heard it from. There's been one other that I can remember.

So here's a first...

I get this email last night:

Time: 12:59AM

From: ***@yahoo.com

Subject: e mail address is correct

Body: i looked at it again and u r wrong

What?

It appears that the guy is replying to something, but I've never emailed him anything.  I do a search of his email address in my gmail account and find it in one of the attachments. So I figure out that he's someone that filled out a "free info" form on this one website. So I decide to be nice and email him back to try and figure out what on earth he's talking about, since he appears to be mid conversation with someone.

(As a side note, it's always nice when people email and say things like. "I can't get this page to work." Like I'm supposed to magically know what site they're talking about out of the hundreds that I work on. On top of that, what does "to work" mean.  You can't get what to work? You have to tell me what you're trying to do. And then you need to tell me what happens when you try it. Then I have something to go on.)

Anyway, I email the guy back saying, "What is this in reference to". Then, this morning, I have an angry voice mail from him! It's too bad you can't hear his voice but here's a transcript:

my name is ***

you sent me a message about my email

I signed up for some of your information

a free trial

and after I typed everything down

you sent me that it was an error

that for one thing that I had sent to you people before, which I had never done

and you said my email address is wrong

(starts to get really irritated here)

which I... I checked it, I looked at your own typing and you had it right

I don't know why you would say it was wrong when it was in fact right

I know my email address

(hangs up)

So after this I realized what the problem is.  The first time he filled out the form it said (the page said, not me): Thanks for signing up but we already have your info. It checks the database before a new lead is added so that there are no duplicates.  He said he never filled out the form before, yet I looked his email address up in the database and he did in fact sign up in 2007. 

So I guess he tried filling the form out again and this time he got an error message that his email address was wrong. Well, it only checks formatting. So if it told him it was wrong, it was. Like he put a space in it somewhere and email addresses don't have spaces. Or left off the @yahoo.com part. Or something like that. It happens all the time.

I just find it highly amusing that he's acting like there's some person sitting "behind" the website, reading over the form info he submits and typing messages back to him when he does something wrong, like there's some army of elves that work behind the scenes 24/7.

Lets start here: "which I... I checked it, I looked at your own typing and you had it right".

This must be in reference to my reply to him by email.  Of course I got your email address right, I just hit reply. And what, I'm the same "person" who told you it was wrong earlier? What on earth is his concept of the internet? 

Maybe he and Ted Stevens can figure it out together.

This was definitely a first. I'm definitely not going calling him back. If he's comfortable enough to use the internet and think that it talks back to him, I'm concerned that he won't believe anything I say.

these guys enjoy getting their picture taken

They all looked up when they heard me coming
and then they ran right up to meet me.

(Ok, they were probably just hoping for some extra food.)

SciAm: Sculpting the Impossible: Solid Renditions of Visual Illusions

more...

Phase II

I don't actually know what that means.

Driving was good; it always is.  I stopped by the store on the way home.  I decided I should vary my diet a little. I pretty much eat rice/beans for lunch and dinner (and I'm not awake for breakfast).  I got a few different things so I can try something new. 

Stormy said you can get that hot sauce from Cafe Yumm by itself if you ask them for it. I love that stuff.  I'm gonna do that.  Earlier today I got Hibiscus Cranberry juice. That's good.  Edamame make a great snack; I'm eating them now. Maybe I should organize my refrigerator.

dreaming or awake

Ever have one of those days where it seems like you're not sure if you're dreaming or awake? Kinda seems like that today. Can't figure out why. The whole day just seems weird. 

Right now I feel like I should be doing something but I can't figure out what. Or like I'm sitting on a time bomb that's about to explode, only I don't know where so I can't get away.

Maybe I'll go drive; I didn't drive today.  I drive every day.  Yeah, I totally need to drive.  Slowly though, there's been either light snow or several layers of frozen fog on Fox Hollow for the past week, and that's in the middle of the afternoon.  Somebody flipped their Honda there a couple days ago, just past the big farm.

Jiu-jitsu was good today though. I got exactly what I wanted out of my class with Harold.  

I'm sore from last night. Rounds and rounds with big people.  I can feel the soreness when I breathe.  We had to do 30 push-ups every time we couldn't pass someone's guard or if they passed ours.  And I kept picking big people to go with.  So there was a lot of pushups.  Many of us did several hundred. It was torturous... and fun ;-)

huge smile

Jiu-jitsu is the favorite part of my day ;-)

retelling stories

I woke up from a dream this morning where I was talking to someone while babysitting (or something strange like that. babysitting? weird dreams lately.)  

In the dream I was retelling a story I heard in ASL class last night. That in itself is weird. I've never told a story while dreaming before. Come to think of it, I don't do a lot of talking in my dreams... weird, never thought about that. I don't really talk at all in my dreams.  I can't think of one I've ever had where there's any talking. Strange. 

Ok, so I did have that dream the other night where I was punching people that said things I didn't like. But the thing is, there were no words, like spoken words. I didn't hear anything. I don't think I have sound in my dreams. Or maybe I just can't remember it? 

Maybe I will remember it in some future dream now that I've thought about it.  

Even in this dream I know I was "talking" to the person but there was no words.  It's more like you just look at them and they know what your'e saying.

Anyway, here's the story. Apparently it made some sort of impression on me because it made it into my dream.

The story is about this Russian guy who came to the US and he didn't know that much American sign but was fluent in Russian sign. He meant to say, "I'm from Moscow". But apparently the Russian sign for "Moscow" is the same as the American sign for "menstruate" - lol!

It was even funnier when the teacher told the story because there was this deaf guy helping her out for the day and he saw her sign it before she said what it meant to the rest of us. Right as she signed it he turned his head away and did one of those half-laugh, half-embarrassed sounds. Which created an excellent effect in the story telling, making us all wonder what she was about to say.

note to self...

Do not attempt to do the following things at the same time:

• Work (computer is on)
• Be warm (heater in office is on)
• Pre-warm bedroom (heater in bedroom is on)
• Make popcorn (microwave is on)

This trips the circuit breaker at which point 3 out of 4 of the above items stop. Oddly enough the microwave is still popping. This is good because you can eat it while you're waiting for your computer to boot up again. 

That is after you've made your way through the dark (because the circuit it trips turns off all the lights in the entire house while the appliances and furnace stay on) to feel your way around the breaker box and flip all the random switches since you can't actually see anything. 

I should find that flashlight I have somewhere around here.

My guess is that the furnace was the culprit. It probably got cold and it turned on and then *poof* everything else goes off.  

Oooh, it's 26 degrees outside! Brrr.

Shell station on River Road

The last two times I stopped at the Shell station on River Road the gas station attendant filling my car has asked to take a picture of my car with his cell phone. Two different guys, same gas station. 

That hasn't happend at any other gas station (at least not where the person filling is taking the photo). Although, people wave at me from both the 76 and the Cheveron stations on So. Willamette.

before / after

Despite the fact that it was 40 degrees out, I washed the car!

That's pretty impressive I think.

It really needed it huh.

There was actually several tablespoons of grime stuck
in the corners of the wheels... each one!

Through the Fog on Willamette

a few more...

Fog

You know when you open a freezer and all this fog comes put at you? Well that what happened when you opened the door to leave bjj tonight. Lots of fog swirled in as the cold air outside met the warm (very warm) air inside.

funny dreams

No really, I was laughing in my dream. I'm pretty sure I've never laughed in my dreams before. At least not the ones I remember. I tend to have very solemn dreams. Solemn and strange, but not funny. Ever.

But I had three different dreams that I remember last night. The all involved friends. The first one was kinda solemn and I don't actually remember it anymore. I did when I woke up the first time but not anymore. I remember the feeling though. It's like a black and white with no sound kinda feeling.

The second I remember more of. There was me in the Bronco and Jill was there. We were driving down some road but then the road ended, at least the paved road did. And there was this sand road going downhill that I wasn't sure I should go down, but she pushed the Bronco and we went down. (That description may sound a little confusing but in my dreams things don't really follow the rules of the regular physical world. So while we were in the car initially, she was able to push the car down the hill from behind and then we were all transported down together, even though we weren't actually in the car anymore. Maybe I just switched from first person to third person perspective - I don't really know. Like I said, it doesn't make a lot of sense usually.) So we're flying down this hill. Fast. Like not really rolling on the wheels but just hovering over the ground and rolling down really fast and it ends at the ocean. (And it's night, forgot to say that earlier.)  So needless to say I can't stop the car in time and we go crashing into the ocean. 

Now, to start off, this actually does sound like a lot of my dreams. I'm driving and then I'm out of control and then it's over. But this is different.

We open the doors immediately and the water is up to the seats already, which on the Bronco is pretty high! So we jump out and I'm thinking I'm going to loose the car but then I decide to just grab on to the back of it and pull it out and it works. Easily! With no effort. I just pull it back onto the sand and leave it there to dry out. I'm pretty sure I was having a good time at this point. I was in quite a jovial mood.

There's a cliff behind us and some sort of workout place up on the edge with big windows overlooking the ocean. We go up there and we're walking down a hallway and I don't remember everything anymore but Jill falls down on the floor laughing hysterically and then I'm laughing too. I think it's because we just drove the Bronco into the ocean and she thought it was really funny in an, "I can't believe that just happened" kind of way.

And then I wake up. 

Ok, third dream. This one involves Mel I think and Jake is there too. 

This time we're trying to drive up this really huge cliff (it's a theme apparently) to this city on the top of a plateau.  The car won't make it up so we end up climbing (but it doesn't take long, like a second). We get to the top and it's bland desert-like city. Sand on the ground everywhere, no paved roads, but roads nonetheless. The buildings are all one story and the color of sand.

We run into this guy who says something mean and I start beating him up.  Then something else happens which I'll just leave out. About the beating up though. I've never beat someone up in my dreams before. And this was weird, like a movie in a way. Where it didn't hurt me at all to hit the person and there were thwacking type sounds when I did and he just lied there on the ground not fighting back. And come to think of it, I don't think he was hurt either. Strange. Lots of new strange dream experiences.

Come to think of it a lot of my dreams are just me observing strange places. Either that or being chased but never caught (but always about to be caught). Or the third kind, which are the ones where I'm driving and out of control. Occasionally there will be a flying dream but often I have to try really really hard and can barely get off the ground. Like I'm trying to hard and it's making it not happen.

Anyway, in the next "scene" I'm inside some party with Mel but Jake is gone now. She says something that I don't like and I punch her in the face. (she probably won't read this, but I can picture her offended reaction if she did). And then I think wow, that actually hurt my hand, this must be real and not a dream. So I apologize and tell her, "Sorry, I thought I was dreaming still." Like that's supposed to make some sort of difference??? I don't know. Then I think I just wander around being confused as to whether I'm dreaming or awake. 

I was probably pretty much almost awake by then. It was like noon and the 3rd time I'd woken up this morning. Every time I woke up before though, it was like I barely woke up and was totally pulled back into sleep. 

It made for an interesting morning.

Roku and a weird smell

There were 10 minutes left in class and I wanted to leave. Mostly because I could barely stand. I came in an hour early and drilled some take downs. And then class consisted of endless rounds of pass/keep the guard - for two hours. Don't get me wrong. I had a lot of fun. I could just barely lift my arms by the end. The white belts were in one group and the colored belts were in another. It was good cause I got to roll with a lot of different blue belts. But everyone is heavy. I'm not complaining (at least not too much). I like it. Once I get to roll someone my same size it will seem comparatively easy. So it's good. It's just hard at the end of 2 hours. But there were 10 minutes left. I figured I made it that far I might as well stick it out for the next 10 min. So I did.

I came home and got something to eat and sat down to watch a movie to relax a little before going to work. I've been having a lot of fun with my Roku player. I was hooking my laptop up to the projector before to stream movies off Netflix, but then something happened and that port stopped working. The rest work, but that one doesn't. It's not the laptop cause I tested it by hooking it up to my monitor which worked fine. And it's not the cord cause I tried another one. So it's definitely the port on the projector that's got something wrong with it. 

Now I could just stream movies on my main computer in my office. But I figure I spend enough hours in there anyway. Plus, why would I want to watch them on a 19" monitor when I could sit on my very comfortable couch and watch it on the 9 foot screen on the wall ;-)

Anyway, I was sitting there watching this movie (left), which turned out to be pretty funny.  The selection of streaming movies on Netflix was pretty limited before they've been adding a lot more lately. I can pretty much find something for any occasion, as in whatever mood I happen to be in.  

So I'm sitting there and I start noticing this smell. What is that? Eww, it smells like jiu-jitsu. But I took a shower. Where is that coming from. I ignore it but it keeps bugging me and then I realize, it's my Gi. It doesn't smell very appealing after rolling with sweaty guys for 2 hours. I laid it out on the weight bench to dry but that's not going to do it.  I was clean, just out of the wash when I went in today. And now, it's going back in the wash. I was smelling it from like 15 feet away. Gross.

...

On a side note, I think I found what I was looking for today. I didn't recognize it at first but the more I think about it, the more potential I see. Maybe even a two in one or three in one deal. We'll have to see.  That's why you have to keep your windows rolled down, so you can hear opportunity when it knocks.

can you hear your eyeballs?

"Some people have abnormalities of the inner ear that enhance their sensitivity to this component so much that the sound of their own breathing becomes overwhelming, and they may even hear their eyeballs moving in their sockets."

SciAm.com

That would be so freaky!

And annoying.

ASL

First day of ASL class. Really good. Confusing, but really good. We were sitting there in silence for so long, then when the teacher asked if we wanted a break half way through and this one lady was like, "Yes, I need to use my voice. I've never sat somewhere for so long without talking."

The teacher (who's parents were deaf) told this story at the end where she goes to a friends house for a sleepover for the first time in her life. She's like 12 and they go into her friends house and her friend starts talking to her parents. Just talking like normal people do, but to her it was really confusing. She was thinking, "You people are so weird!!! You talk to your parents?"

It's always a strange feeling when you realize that what's "normal" to you is not normal to everyone else and their normal is not normal for you.  And if you've never thought of whatever it is before, or experience it, then it does seem really strange. Even if it's completely "normal," just cause it's a totally new experience. 

People don't get it. They just stare at you like you're making a big deal out of nothing. But it's totally different when it's something new for you. Like taking people from a village where they all grow their own food and showing them a supermarket. It's just a totally new concept.

snowboarding

I think I was on auto pilot on the drive up. Maybe because I just woke up and jumped in the car (not a morning person).  So I was halfway up the lift when I realized, "Hey, I'm about to go snowboarding!" Followed by, "Oh crap, here comes the dismount; I hope I don't fall on someone."

I didn't. It was pretty fun. There was a giant rainbow at the top of the lift which was cool. 

I listened to a really interesting episode of Fresh Air on the way back about gold. Apparently all the gold ever mined by humans will fit into two Olympic size swiming pools! I've never been intrested in gold but this was pretty engrossing. Check it out here.

The clouds were raining fire

It was awesome from every angle and every road and it just kept going. Any picture I could take would be incommensurate with the actual spectacle, but here is one anyway.

Lorane highway

The sky is ON FIRE and the rising moon is massive. At first I thought it was a snowy peak behind another mountain. But then it rose a little higher and I realized it was the moon. Huge. It's always bigger on the horizon but this was twice as big as I've ever seen before.

SciAm: Tonight's moon will rival last month's massive bright perigee

Exciting! I knew the moon looked brighter last night!

Remember last month's massive moon, the one that dazzled onlookers on December 12? That moon was 14% larger and 30% brighter than a typical full moon.

Well, it's back tonight. NASA says tonight's moon will be the biggest full moon of 2009, "almost identical" to the one on December 12.

Here's what's going on: The moon's orbit of Earth is an ellipse, with one end closer to Earth than the other. Tonight, the moon will be near the closer end of the ellipse, a spot known as the perigee. (Apogee is the more distant end.)

SciAm.com

I hope it's clear out. Last time it was an amazing night. 

SciAm: Inside the Savant Mind: Tips for Thinking from an Extraordinary Thinker

From the article...

In my mind, numbers and words are far more than squiggles of ink on a page. They have form, color, texture and so on. They come alive to me, which is why as a young child I thought of them as my “friends.” I think this is why my memory is very deep, because the information is not static. I say in my book that I do not crunch numbers (like a computer). Rather, I dance with them.

and...

Various studies have long demonstrated that being able to visualize information makes it easier to remember.

Soooooo interesting! Read the article here.

inbox cleaning

currently at 24, down from 65 eariler today

.......nice.

Boy stops pit bull attack with jujitsu choke hold

My mom sent me this link: 

http://www.kval.com/news/37188184.html

picturing things in your mind

In a follow up to the post on the fact that I can't recognize faces very well... I've been surveying people and apparently most of you out there can do math in your head because you can "see" the numbers.  Like 26+32, or something like that.  I can't "see" the numbers in my head.  They won't stay there. I would have to say, "ok, 26 - so 6 is the 2nd number, and then, 32 so 2 is the other 2nd number. so that would be 6 and 2 is 8.  And then would have to try and remember what the two original numbers are again 26 and 32 in order to figure out what the next two numbers that I needed to add were.  And on top of that I would have to remember that 8 was the other number that I just added up.  But I would have to remember that in some place in my mind because I can't actually "see" this stuff, even in my head. So invariably I would get confused and forget something after I added the 1st two numbers. I would probably have to double check to make sure I had the two main numbers correct, the ones I was trying to add together.

I basically can't picture anything in my head. I can recognize if something matches what I think it should look like, but that's not because I'm comparing it to a mental picture. I think my mind sees things more like a grid. It's like a yes/no thing where it matches up certain points and says, this is in the same place and that's in the same place, so this must be the same thing. I know I'm very spatially aware of things. I have some sort of picture in my mind of where things are and I will notice if they've been moved. Just like how I noticed that the "cap" thing they put on the door of my Lotus wasn't the one that was on it before, even though I'd never really paid attention to it. And I notice if things have moved and are not in the same spot as last time I saw them. So there must be some sort of picture that my mind is comparing what it's seeing now to what it was seeing before. But it's not like a picture you'd see on a camera. I think it's more like a grid with dots on it. Not that I "see" a grid. I don't "see" anything. I just have recognition that's like, "alert: object at x,y is not what it was last time we saw this." I don't know what was there before necessarily, but I know it wasn't what it is now.

I'm not sure how my facial or people recognition system works. Melissa kept telling me that I never noticed when her hair changed, which I think was or is often. I couldn't actually tell you if she changes it much right now because I don't remember.  I know from talking to her that she changed it a lot in the past. 

I was thinking about this several months, about recognizing people and how I couldn't picture things and I realized that I didn't even know if her hair was straight or not. I think it's because I've seen it both ways. Maybe it's because she changes her hair so much that I don't remember it. Because it's not one of those constant things that I can use to identify her.  I think some people's hair I do remember, but it's only if they keep the same style. My mom has had the same hair forever, so I know what hers is like. 

Maybe I just pick things out that don't change and use those as identifying features. If you wear the same clothes then I might recognize you from that. I might even recognize you from the shape of your whole silhouette. I think I can recognize someone I know from a picture of just one part of their face, like a close up.  

But new people, that's harder. I think it takes longer for me to assign a profile to a certain person. Melissa kept trying to point out Jake to me last month and I got him and this other guy that started at the gym near the same time confused, for like two weeks. They kind of looked the same to me. I would see one walking across the mat and I'd see the other one a few minutes later and I wouldn't know which is which. I can tell now, but the first couple weeks I couldn't.

Hmmm, interesting.

geometry and memory

In high school I got a C in Geometry and an A the next semester in Algebra 2. The algebra 2 class seemed like kindergarten to me. I had the same teacher for both classes and she was kind of confused at why I was suddenly a math whiz from one month to another.  She gave us an outline for the semester and I was two weeks ahead on my homework and getting paid to tutor this other girl in class.

The thing is, all the Geometry tests were about memorizing the theorems and postulates. And memorizing stuff is NOT my thing. I tried. I read the damn things over and over. I made cassette tapes and played them back to myself. I spent a lot of time on them but I couldn't remember them. I don't remember words well. I can remember concepts, but words are practically impossible.

Maybe it's a short term memory thing. 

When I'm programming something new that's kind of complicated. I will get to the end and can't remember what I just did or what process I used to accomplish what I just finished.  I have to go back and read over the code to figure out how I did it. And if I were going to do it again and didn't have my notes to look at I'd have to start from scratch and re-create the whole thing over again becasue I might not be able to even remember the concept of what I had just done.

I can't remember words very well either. I remember the meaning of something that somebody just said. But if you asked me to repeat it back word for word there's a 99% chance that I'd be guessing if it was more than three words long. If it were a common string of words I might guess correctly, but it would still be a guess.

When I'm learning a new move in jiu-jitsu, they go over it step by step several times. Then they say to go ahead and practice and 90% of the time I can't remember what position the move starts in. I can remember the end of the move, the part I just saw, but I can't remember how to start. I tend to remember things as "this connects to that". But I have to do it step by step and can't really see the whole thing. I see it as a series of connections - from this move you go here, and from this move you go here - and that's the way it makes the most sense to me. If you tell me to just try it without thinking about it I'm likely to just stare at you cause I don't know how to do that. I feel like I can remember little parts and put them together and it makes something bigger, but the big thing is still always just a bunch of little parts put together.  Until you've drilled it a lot of times at which point it just turns into muscle memory. But that's completely different. 

wake up

Apparently I was not supposed to sleep in today. The FedEx guy rang the doorbell at 9 (that's early I'm telling you). And then Stormy called me shortly after that. And then I was just awake. That's fine. I got some stuff done early today. 

I opened the door to get my package and the paper.  It's a lot warmer out.  I still can't get over how 50 degrees feels kind of warm to me here. It's just right at the edge where it no longer seems freezing cold (to me).

Reminds me of those people I saw coming out of the Eugene Airport in the summer.  They were probably late 40's and the lady is complaining, and I mean majorly complaining about how hot it was - about 90 degrees. But she acted like she was melting. Then the guy behind her looks at me and says, "We're from Alaska." Totally made me laugh. Everything's relative.

AAA strikes again

Nothing like locking your keys in the car to make you appreciate AAA service.  Second time I've called them in the last few months. It was for towing last time, not keys. It's come in handy ever since I got it for the moving truck discount when I came up to Oregon.

In this case we were just arriving back to Eugene and we stopped at 7 Eleven for some Gatorade. Mel was driving and I got out of the car and pushed the door locks from habit.  I thought for a second before I shut the door (maybe I shouldn't?) , but figured she wouldn't close her door with the keys still in the car. I thought wrong.

Then I turn around and the car in the parking spot next to us was sliding back out of it's parking space due to the slope in the parking lot. The car was on, the radio was on, the parking brake was off and the driver was inside. I stepped behind the car and held it in place long enough for Melissa to retrieve the driver from the store so they could pull the car back into it's space. They looked a little embarassed. I thought it was funny. I've never held a car in place before. The wheel was turned so it was kind of backing out behind the bronco, which clearly wasn't going anywhere since we were now locked out. I didn't really need to stand behind the car. It probably would have stopped somewhere in the middle of the parking lot. But I just figured it was better off 1/4 of the way in the space than in the middle of the parking lot.

So we went in and got the Gatorade. We both had our wallets but our phones were in the Bronco. Luckily we were just 4 blocks from her house so we walk/jogged back and I used Jake's phone to call AAA.  It didn't take too long for them to get there and open it up.

AAA is convenient and, at least for me, has been an overall moneysaver.

the bronco

I drove to WA with Mel today for an appointment. We took the Bronco cause it had better tires. 

I like the Bronco. It's been growing on me since the first time I saw it. I wasn't expecting to get a Bronco. I wasn't looking for one specifically. I was looking for a winter vehicle with 4x4 for the snow and something with a few more seats than the Lotus. I went to this lot on River Road to see what they had because I'd seen a lot of trucks there before. Actually I think I went because I saw an ad online for a smaller Bronco II that had been towed behind an RV. But it was baby blue :-P  But I also knew they had a lot of trucks there.

So I was looking at the rest of their trucks and I saw that the Bronco was in my price range. So I looked inside it. At first glance the thing seemed huge. Especially after driving the Lotus around. Side by side comparison seen here. It's like driving the room of a house around.

But it's not too long. Which would make it hard to maneuver. I remember getting inside and looking behind me from the drivers seat like I was going to be backing out and it seemed nice and homey feeling.. and not too long. That was the first instant I started to like it.

I don't drive it much because I find the gas mileage generally abhorrent. But it was really fun in the snow a few weeks ago. I never would have made it out Fox Hollow without it. And it was fun driving it to WA today. It's like driving your living room around.

I think I'll keep it.

Learning stuff is fun

Who needs sleep anyway...

Probably not what I will be thinking in the car later today, but right now I'm having a good time.

currently reading...

upside down

...i just printed all the envelopes upside down :-P

ha... ha...... ugh.

You would think I have a problem, but I assure you I don't. I blame multitasking (read: I stuck them in the printer and walked off). Not that I haven't done this before. Just not recently and never all of them. I usually check to make sure they're coming out right.

Oh well, I'm not wasting them. People are just going to have to deal with it.

ha ha!

I forgot the billing existed!

(Yeah, I know. It's really not that funny.)

I've got to pay more attention to the dates. These holidays are screwing me up. It's like two weekends per week with Christmas and then New Years stuck right in the middle of the week.

Anyway, guess what I'm doing now...

too sore to roll

I tried but I think I need to lay off a bit. It was easier to let myself be squished than try to escape. Well, not with the white belts. I escaped from them. It was just hard with Ryan and I got him last. We did pass and keep mount. My shoulders and my biceps are sore, sore, sore. And so are my calves. I need to stretch some more.

Side note: the sky was awesome today. Fox Hollow looked like an ice cream sunday with the mountains as the ice cream and the clouds as piles of whip cream sitting on top. Three in a row, just like a sunday.

HAPPY DANCE!!!!

I just got a totally exciting business call. Really exciting. It caused me to do a happy dance and go do acrobatics on my awesome mats. We'll have to see where this goes now. But right now it's exciting!

minus 90 degrees Fahrenheit

and people live there???????????

Welcome to the Coldest Town on Earth

I'm speachless.

anybody wanna roll?

By request, here's a picture of the mats (above)
and my other toys (below).

I usually call this the "Big Room"... cause it's big... but I was thinking today I should call it the Toy Room cause it's got all my toys in it. Except the car which is parked right on the other side of the wall to the left there.

And here are some pics of me playing on the mats.

stupid dreams

in my dream last night it was snowing and everyone was driving faster than normal and spinning all over the place.  i was going a safe speed trying to avoid the cars flying around me. i was about to go down this hill. i had my foot on the brake but when I started down the hill the angle changed and it was just a straight drop and freefall down. crunch.  

yeah. nice, huh. no dreams where I'm driving a car are ever good. they usually involve the brakes not working, me not being able to see where I'm going, meteors falling from the sky or some other crap like that.

except this time there was someone else in the car too and they had a hand on some of the controls. that was different. and so was the fact that I crashed at the bottom. i never crash. i'm always out of control, but I never crash.

stupid dreams

sore

from jiu-jitsu

from weights

from boxing

Sore is good.

txt messaging after midnight

Jills txt to Ellie (her caps, not mine) at 12:12am...

"MOE USED THE VACUUM CLEANER ON VOMIT"

(She's not much of a txt messager.)

What happened is that I'd just relayed the story from earlier tonight in Muay Thai class and she thought it was very important to let Ellie know asap.  She wanted to put "Happy New Year" first but this was her 2nd attempt and it had been almost 5 minutes in the making so she just sent it as is.

Earlier, I had been at Muay Thai and Moe was boxing with George and all of a sudden George is going in for a punch and so is Moe only George sees that Moe is not making the normal face for punching someone, it's a little more twisted up looking. Then he (warning: this is gross), he smells it coming and ducks out of the way just in time. Nasty. He mopped the mats down but then used the vacuum cleaner on the carpet. That just seems wrong.

New Years

I danced in the new year to drumming.

---

Dance, when you're broken open.

Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.

Dance in the middle of the fighting.

Dance in your blood.

Dance, when you're perfectly free.

- Rumi

---

I got carded twice tonight and the last guy told me I didn't look my age.  I wonder what age I do look to people on average. I'm sure everyone would have a different estimate.