My intention was just to redistribute some stuff on the door, so that I could fit a few things that were sitting on the shelves, onto the door - where they belong. It's not segregation, I just thought the other condiments would be happier with their own kind.
Anyway, I was moving stuff around when I suddenly found myself removing items from the top shelf and reaching for a sponge. Puzzled by my own actions I figured I would just be cleaning one shelf. Surely I wouldn't go any further. That was so far from my mind that I didn't even contemplate it. Which is probably what, in the end, enabled me go through with it.
You see, one thing just kind of led to another. A reprehensible excuse I know. But that's just the way it went down. What can I say now? I'll be more careful next time, I assure you. In my own defense I can say that this is only the 2nd time I've ever cleaned a refrigerator, in almost 32 years. I think that's a pretty good record.
But you see the sponge was dripping gross, dirty refrigerator water onto the items on the shelves below so I quickly removed them. In doing so I unintentionally set the stage for cleaning those shelves as well.
The middle shelf was easy.
The bottom shelf was, unbeknownst to me, a mass grave for a colony of ants (ok, there were probably only 20 carcasses). I'm not really sure when they appeared (several months ago), but they didn't last long. I'm not even sure how they got in there. Or better yet, why? I've never seen ants filing into a refrigerator before.
Naturally I'm assuming they were part of some cult and they choose my refrigerator for their mass suicide. They didn't leave a note so we'll never know. RIP.
This has really been a three step process. For those of you wondering if you will ever be able to accomplish this same feet I'm including a step by step tutorial, with photos, for your benefit.
Step 1: Accept you have a problem.
If you feel up to it you can click on the image for a larger view. Caution is advised.
Step 2: Remove the inedible items.
Tip: things that have an expiration date of over 4 months ago should be throw out ;-)
Step 3: Clean shelves and restock.
Tip: Do not place items that you do not plan to consume back into the the refrigerator. That's not what it's for. There's another receptacle called a "trash can" that can be used for those items. Alternatively you may opt to compost food that is "past fresh". This should not be done in the refrigerator.
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1 comment:
You never used to be drawn to writing, but your entries here have been fascinating. This one is hilarious as well as entertaining. Well done!
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